Do you have a diagnosed eating disorder? Or do you spend your days consumed with thoughts of food – counting calories, finding ways to reduce, restrict, compensate, and Googling food? Has your eating disorder become your identity and you worry that it is the only thing in life that you are actually good at? Does the thought of doing something spontaneous send you into a tailspin because you don’t know what you will be able to eat? Do you constantly have to be busy and find it difficult to be still and present?
Do you often feel lonely and unsupported as if you don’t have anyone who truly “ gets” you and who you can be completely honest with? Maybe this is because your eating disorder causes you a lot of shame so you do your utmost to hide it or not talk about it with anyone in your life. Or maybe the people in your life do know about it but you feel that they have lost sight of who you really are and only see you for your eating disorder.
Things seem to have been getting harder recently, you’re more tired and overwhelmed and you feel like you are struggling more with your eating and your world is getting smaller.
You know that you would never wish this on anyone else and that you want things to change but yet you feel so terribly stuck and unable to take any action. Sometimes you really wish there was someone who you could trust who would be there to help and support you to start to make changes.
Maybe this is not the case because you have a treatment team. But you feel like the majority of the work is actually done outside of your appointments. Navigating this is really tricky for you. It’s hard to hold yourself accountable and to know what to focus on and you feel like you could really do with someone to help you with this.
Could it be time to reach out to an eating disorder recovery coach?
Eating disorder coaching is revolutionising recovery and improving outcomes for those suffering from eating disorders.
Coaches have existed in the field of addictions and mental health for many years now. They are seen as a fundamental part of a person’s recovery journey from addiction. It’s only recently however that the idea of using a coach in the field of eating disorders has emerged and is being seen as the ‘missing link” in traditional treatment.
The premise behind coaching is that eating disorders are not confined to working hours. They don’t just present in therapy or dietitian sessions. Eating disorders are a loud, intrusive presence 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Coaching is designed to support people suffering from an eating disorder every step of the way in all their day-to-day struggles by providing weekly ongoing sessions, daily messaging and call support, meal support, and much more. In particular, the aspect of being available via messaging is a key differentiator. Coaches are there to provide support, reassurance, and guidance in the moment and in situations that are not feasible for a client’s treatment team. This higher level of support is very supportive of lasting change.
Whilst therapy is focused on the “Why” of an eating disorder, coaching is very much entrenched in the practical aspect of an eating disorder, the “HOW”. After all, you cannot recover from an eating disorder unless you take the necessary action to tackle the thoughts, beliefs, behaviours that exist around food and indeed expose yourself to food. This is the part where people typically get the most stuck. Often knowing exactly what they need to do but unable to get themselves to do it.
Coaches are trained to facilitate awareness, behaviour change, explore different coping skills, and cultivate resilience. Because coaches are available via messaging between sessions they are able to help in the moment and hold accountability for goals and actions.
Eating disorders are serious illnesses. Therefore it is incredibly important that you find an eating disorder coach who is fully trained. The Carolyn Costin Institute where I trained is currently the ONLY recognised traineeship for coaches. The CCI process is a year-long comprehensive training including coursework, exams, a supervised internship, and certification.
A key differentiator is that many coaches, myself included, have lived with and recovered from an eating disorder. In order to ensure that lived experience is used appropriately and to the benefit of coaching, before signing up for the CCI certification you need to ensure that you have been recovered for 2 years – with recovered fitting the following definition by Carolyn Costin
“Being recovered is when the person can accept his or her natural body size and shape and no longer has a self-destructive relationship with food or exercise. When you are recovered, food and weight take a proper perspective in your life, and what you weigh is not more important than who you are; in fact, actual numbers are of little or no importance at all. When recovered, you will not compromise your health or betray your soul to look a certain way, wear a certain size, or reach a certain number on the scale. When you are recovered, you do not use eating disorder behaviours to deal with, distract from, or cope with other problems.”
Working with a fully trained and recovered coach is incredibly powerful for people suffering from an eating disorder as it not only provides proof and hope that it is possible to fully recover but offers them a role model for recovered living.
The fact that many of us have lived with an eating disorder ourselves means that we have walked in your shoes and that gives us a level of understanding and empathy that is simply not possible for someone who has not been there themselves.
Living with an eating disorder or disordered eating is incredibly isolating and lonely. Most people who suffer from an eating disorder are well and truly fed up and exhausted by feeling that they are in a constant uphill struggle against food and their thoughts. They are fed up with feeling like food is controlling their life and that their days are filled with anxiety.
Even though they know that there can be more to life than this and they really want things to be different it feels impossible to break any rules or let go of control and they really wish they could find someone who could support and motivate them whilst not judging their thoughts and behaviours. Someone who they could trust and who could meet them wherever they are in their recovery journey and support them unconditionally.
Irrespective of whether you have suffered from an eating disorder for a year or 30 years, and no matter what stage you are at in your recovery journey, eating disorder recovery coaching can be the pivotal piece to changing your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. CCI Coaches all firmly believe, and many of them are living proof, that full recovery is possible NO MATTER how long you have had an eating disorder. I myself am proof of that – only recovering from 30 years of living with my eating disorder and disordered eating after working with a coach. For many, coaching is the only thing that gives them HOPE that things will improve. Working with a coach who has been in their shoes and truly understands their trials and tribulations and who is prepared to work collaboratively and without judgment is truly a game changer.
The coaching difference is that it is based on the present moment. It takes you where you are right now and works with your current day-to-day problems related to food, weight, and body image. The bulk of eating disorder recovery is done outside the therapist and dietitian sessions – it’s done at every meal and every snack. It’s done every time a food choice has to be made or whether to exercise or not. It’s done at the moment of choosing to get hooked or not by disordered thoughts. This is where coaching helps the most as coaches make themselves available on a daily basis via messaging to provide accountability and direction. Recovery can be lonely and Eating Disorders often encourage us to isolate and turn toward the illness so a key factor of coaching is to help you feel connected to someone who is dependable, has been through a similar situation, and has the training and skills to help.
Because full recovery is the goal – coaching encompasses many aspects of recovery, not just nutritional rehabilitation. This goes from coping with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, shifting limiting beliefs, learning healthier, more sustainable coping skills, reacting and managing comments from people, identifying triggers, and looking to find purpose in your life beyond controlling your body shape and weight.
My approach to coaching is a mix of my comprehensive training at the Carolyn Costin Institute, my own lived experience and training, and further education in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). I am also a fully UK-trained and registered nutritionist and use my nutritional knowledge if and when appropriate with clients.
I strongly believe that although we are all individuals most eating disorders are very similar in nature and so even though I may not know your particular eating disorder journey I know eating disorders well and together we can work to strengthen the healthy part of you and put your eating disorder out of a job.
My sorely missed father always taught me to “ be soft on people but tough on facts.” I use this approach often in my coaching – I look to see the person beyond the eating disorder and connect and build a relationship with them but at the same time I will be tough on your eating disorder when necessary.
Eating disorders tend to shrink our worlds so very small and part of my approach is to help you to connect back with your values and the things that are important to you and to see that there is a world out there beyond food, fear, and anxiety that you can engage with. One of the things that I think gets lost in an eating disorder is a sense of fun and lightheartedness and so where appropriate I like to use humour and remind my client that life can be so much brighter than it currently is.
I’m sure you are wondering if coaching is something that is actually right for you. It’s completely understandable that you might have lots of concerns and feel daunted at the prospect of reaching out for help. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions
The hard truth is that you cannot think your way out of an eating disorder. You have to act your way out of it. Recovery is about taking action that is counter to your eating disorder. Coaches work is Action focused, based in the here and now and therefore they can be pivotal in bringing about change. Coaches can provide support, motivation, accountability and act as role models for recovered living.
Eating disorders are serious complex mental illnesses and there are multiple reasons why it is difficult to recover. However one key factor is the very nature of eating disorders. Eating disorders are ego-syntonic which means that the eating disorder has worked hard to convince individuals that the eating disorder goals, values and priorities are in fact THEIR own. The eating disorder rules and values become so habitual and engrained and entrenched that it feels like they are what YOU believe. Straying from feels incredibly scary and wrong. Even when the person suffering knows logically that they need to get better making themselves do it feels terrifying and is met with a huge amount of resistance from the eating disorder part of themselves.
This ambivalence is what makes eating disorders so hard to treat.
Disordered eating can have serious effects on health The most common consequences are on mental health, the endocrine system - sex and thyroid hormones, and the skeletal system - osteopenia, osteoporosis.
Restriction and weight suppression are at the heart of almost all eating disorders and nutritional rehabilitation and repaying energy debt is the cornerstone of recovery.
If you are severely emaciated, or have a history of vomiting you should not take this on by yourself but should be medically supervised as there is the risk of refeeding syndrome.
Everyone’s body will react differently to recovery but generally speaking the body will initially use this added energy to restore function to vital organs, and achieve normal hydration. It’s normal to see fluctuation in weight as the body hydrates.
The initial stages of recovery is also where the gut which has not had the energy to function properly may take some time to repair and this can often mean some initial gastrointestinal discomfort. Some people also experience an increased metabolic rate and hunger, This too is normal as the body adapt
There may be a period of weight restoration where body changes might occur. If the body has been underweight it will prioritise weight gain around the midsecton in order to protect your vital organs, however this will normalise itself with some time.
The 4 stages of recovery for the body is improvement of physical symptoms, hormonal restoration and then improvement in symptoms such as sleep, focus, and less preoccupation with food.
Unfortunately there is no set answer to this and it varies greatly from individual to individual. Recovery can take months or years and it is very normal for there to be setbacks and relapses along the way. It is a difficult journey but recovery is an incredible achievement and the journey is one of deep self learning which will be invaluable to your future healthy life
Yes, part of the Carolyn Costin Institute (CCI ) framework is the belief that anyone can fully recover from an eating disorder no matter how long they have suffered. Many CCI coaches, myself included are living proof of that having fully recovered themselves.
By most counts and especially in the USA Binge eating disorder (BED) is the most common eating disorder. I would also add that contrary to popular belief less than 6% of eating disorders fall into the category of being medically underweight.
There are no specific skills needed, you just need to show up, be honest and most importantly be prepared to take action. If you are able to tolerate the pain of having an eating disorder you have the strength and determination needed for recovery.
Developing healthy coping skills that you can implement into your life on a regular basis is key to lasting recovery. Here are a few ideas
Recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do but it may also be your greatest achievement. I have never met anyone who would choose to go back to their eating disorder. Recovery teaches you to be resilient and how to cope, it allows you to have connections and meaningful relationships, gives you space to reach your full potential, and allows you to find and be comfortable with your authentic self.
Are you ready to take the first step toward healing your relationship with food and yourself? Eating disorder recovery coaching in the United Kingdom offers compassionate guidance to help you navigate challenges, build self-confidence, and reclaim your well-being. At Healthy Self Recovery, let’s work together to create a life free from the grip of disordered eating—your journey starts here. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
As an eating disorder recovery coach, I am dedicated to guiding you through recovery and fostering meaningful change in your life. Our personalized eating disorder recovery coaching sessions will address the thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and anxieties tied to your eating disorder, with additional text support available for moments when you need accountability or extra encouragement. Recovery can feel lonely, but I aim to provide a compassionate and reliable connection to help you feel truly supported. I also offer meal support sessions, creating a safe space to challenge food rules and build new skills, while collaborating with your medical team to align with your treatment goals. Together, we’ll craft a recovery plan that fits your unique needs, empowering you to embrace a life of freedom and fulfillment beyond your eating disorder.
